


Nodus Tollens

by ThatBohoFemme



Series: The World of Obscure Emotions [11]
Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Happy Ending, Gay Parents, Grief/Mourning, Kids, M/M, Moving On, Mpreg, Prior Pregnancy Loss, Protectiveness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 04:23:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13967262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatBohoFemme/pseuds/ThatBohoFemme
Summary: Dean's 40. It's been a good two years since his last pregnancy. Justthinkingabout it tells him the odds are not in their favor.He doesn’t care. He’s going to see what happens.





	1. The Question

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to Monachopsis. I’m still working on Dead Reckoning but this one’s a good interlude in the meantime. 
> 
> You don’t need to read any of the other ones to get this one.

_**Nodus Tollens- the realization that the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore.** _

It takes a lot to render Dean Ambrose-Rollins speechless. As the dad to a five year old with a very active imagination, he's used to thinking on his feet. 

Parents don't have the luxuries of being rendered speechless. 

_This doesn't make sense._ Dean thinks, staring at his reflection in the mirror. _These jeans fit me just last week._

Dean struggles to button and zip his jeans. It takes a good fifteen minutes of fighting to get them closed. Once he does, he _immediately_ regrets it as the button is digging into his flesh and the tight denim constricts his breathing. 

_Fuck._ he thinks, managing to release the button. _Shit like this only happens when I'm pregnant._

The color drains from Dean's face. He manages to make it to the bed so he can lay down and gather his thoughts. Fainting would not be good. 

Vivian's on a sleepover with her best friend. Dean's supposed to leave soon in order to pick Seth up from the airport. They've got a rare night alone together. 

"Well, this will be an interesting conversation." Dean stares up at the ceiling. His hand drifts down, gently shoving his shirt up. Had it seemed tight when he put it on? He winces, feeling the slightest swelling. "None of this makes sense." 

They've had secondary infertility for the last few years. Dean almost prefers it to that strange period where he had no problem getting pregnant but couldn't stay pregnant. 

Three miscarriages in four years. It's enough to break anyone's heart. 

Dean's 40. It's been a good two years since his last pregnancy. Just _thinking_ about it tells him the odds are not in their favor. 

Tears sting his eyes. This is unexpected. He isn't sure how to react or even what to think. 

Seth and Dean had _finally_ made peace with the fact Vivian would remain an only child. They were fine with this. Vivi was the light of their lives. 

Much like Dean had realized when he learned they were expecting Vivian, he realizes it again. Life did what it wanted regardless of what you wanted. 

Dean forces himself to stand. He still needs to get dressed. Seth's flight is set to land in the next hour. He can't think about this right now. 

Besides, chances are if he is pregnant, it wouldn't make sense for him to get attached. 

These pregnancies _never_ lasted.  
\---  
Dean can't sleep. Seth's been snoring for the last few hours but try what he might, Dean just can't sleep. 

This is the most stable that they've been in years. Vivian's in Kindergarten. Seth's finally able to work a lighter schedule, meaning he's home more. 

Now _this_ happens. 

Why can't they get a break? All of the loss and pain had _almost_ led to them getting divorced. They had managed to patch things up and they were strong again. 

There's one way to settle this. 

Against his better judgment, Dean manages to tuck Seth in and slip out unnoticed. He _needs_ an answer. 

"Why can things never go the way we plan?" Dean mutters. "I mean- if I am pregnant, do I really want to go there right now?" 

His last miscarriage had almost killed him due to a massive infection and a series of freak circumstances. He can remember lying in the hospital bed, praying he'd get the chance to see their daughter again. 

After that, Dean and Seth made peace with the fact Vivian would most likely be an only child. 

They hadn't ruled out adoption but there would be no more babies of their own. 

He enters the CVS and moves to the family planning aisle. The rows of pregnancy tests all seem so bright and daunting. 

_I feel like a teenager again. So scared and intimidated._ he thinks, selecting a box. _Though it's not like this is a first for me._

Dean pays for the test with a twenty. The clerk just stares at him, apparently not used to selling pregnancy tests at 3:14 in the morning. 

Dean drives home as if on autopilot. He curses, pulling up to the house and noticing all the lights on. This can only mean one thing. Seth's up and realized Dean's gone. 

Dean enters the house, finding Seth pacing in the living room. He's deathly pale, his phone clutched tightly in one hand. Seth's staring hard at it. 

After standing awkwardly in the door for a few moments, Dean clears his throat. 

"Holy shit." Seth rushes over, gripping Dean by the shoulders. "Where the fuck were you? I was about to call the police." 

Dean squirms uncomfortably. He still hates being the center of attention. 

"Had to go to CVS. Sorry, thought you'd stay asleep." Dean stares at the carpet, too embarrassed to face Seth. 

"It's 3:30 in the morning. Why the fuck would you go to CVS this early?" It's clear Seth is doing his best to stay calm and not raise his voice. 

"I think I'm pregnant." Dean had had no intention of saying _anything_ until he was sure. Then again, he also hadn't planned on getting caught sneaking out of the house. 

It's better to be honest. 

"How'd that happen?" Seth asks, sitting on the couch. His head sinks into his hands as he tries to take in the news. 

Dean feels like he's having flashbacks to when he learned that they were expecting Vivian. 

"Um, we stopped using birth control when we thought I couldn't get pregnant? We didn't know if the hormones had anything to do with the miscarriages..." Dean's voice trails off. 

"Honey, that was rhetorical." Seth shakes his head. He pats the space next to him, indicating Dean should join him. 

"Anyway, we don't know that I am." Dean sits next to his husband and rests his head on Seth's shoulder. "I just couldn't button my jeans and call it Dad's instinct." He blindly gropes, twining their fingers together when he finds Seth's hand. 

"Well, you have the test if you want to take it." Seth inhales and exhales slowly. "I also support any decision you make." He looks pained as he speaks. 

It takes Dean a second to realize just what Seth is implying. He blanches. If he's pregnant, there's no way in Hell that he would ever consider having an abortion. 

"Please don't." Dean winces, staring at one of Vivian's baby pictures hanging on the wall. "We'll get through this." 

They _always_ did.


	2. Seth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to the doctor as Seth confronts his feelings on the news of the new arrival.

Seth doesn't want to admit how terrified he is. 

To most people, the prospect of a new baby is happy news. Seth doesn't see it as bad but he also isn't thrilled with it either. 

Dean's last pregnancy ended in a miscarriage at 16 weeks. If that loss wasn't devastating enough, he then caught a massive infection that almost killed him. Seth can remember sitting at his bedside, waiting for news, hoping Vivienne would get the chance to see her dad again. 

"I might not be pregnant," Dean points out, fidgeting aimlessly. "I _know_ the test was positive but that could have been a false positive." He sounds skeptical as he says this.

"Dean, you've _always_ known you were pregnant before the doctor confirmed it." He hopes he doesn't sound harsh. If anything, he means it as a compliment. Dean _knows_ his body. "If you thought you were pregnant enough to test, you're pregnant." 

Seth _never_ imagined a life like this when he married Dean eight years ago. He hadn't had the faintest idea of what to expect. He knew they'd have children, but didn't know when or how many. 

He'd never expected their marriage to be punctuated by such periods of pain, loss and love. First, there had been Stella. The fear and joy of expecting Vivi. Then, the three other babies they'd never gotten to know named after the months they'd been lost. (January, June and August) 

"You're thinking about _them_." Dean comments, reading the look in Seth's eyes. As he speaks, he wraps his arm around his belly. Seth resists the urge to gasp, reading the move for what it is. 

_A protective gesture of love_

"No," Seth lies, shaking his head. "Okay, maybe I was. Just wondering why this keeps happening." 

They've been to specialist after specialist. Each doctor subjects them to the same battery of humiliating tests, knowing the results will be in the normal range. They can't find anything wrong and have no idea why Dean can't stay pregnant. 

"I have no idea." Dean stares out the window. "Maybe it's just my cursed body." 

"Cursed body?" Seth pulls the jeep into a parking spot. Once he's parked, he faces Dean. "That cursed body gave us the sweetest girl the world's ever seen. That cursed body nourished,loved and protected her for nine months." He caresses Dean's cheek. "It's easy to lose sight of the forest for the trees but we can say we have Vivi because you didn't give up." He notices the tears in Dean's eyes. This causes Seth to reach out, holding Dean's head to his chest. 

"You ready to go in?" Dean asks, drying his eyes. "Let's get this figured out."   
\---  
"Everything looks _great_ ," Dr. Smith says, staring at the sonogram screen. "You had no clue?" 

"Not one." Dean gives Seth an awkward look. "Why do you ask?" 

"If my calculations are right and this is based on baby's size, you're 19 weeks along." She traces a shape on the screen. "Here's Baby and see this?" She taps a flickering shape. 

"The heart?" Dean asks. 

"We have a very strong beating heart. Moving down, we have a clear view of the gender." The doctor stops. "Do you want to know?" 

"Yes." Dean speaks without hesitating. 

Seth's taken back by this. He wants to ask Dean to wait but _something_ holds him back. For one thing, he doesn't want to upset Dean. For another, Seth _almost_ wants to know too. 

"I can say with almost exact certainty you're having a girl," Dr. Smith says, her grin widening. "Congratulations." 

Another girl- now that would be something. Vivienne's asked for a sister. Seth cannot help thinking of what another daughter would mean and all the possibilities stemming from this. Then, he stops, realizing _exactly_ why he shouldn't. 

There's no guarantee of a baby. To dream would be getting his hopes up. He's _got_ to stay disconnected, if for no other reason, than Dean.   
\---  
"Daddy, I can't wait to come home!" Vivienne exclaims. "Do you miss me?" 

"So much, Vivi. You'll be home tomorrow. Are you being a good girl for Auntie Bayley?" 

Since they'd been uncertain how Dean's appointment would go, they'd had Vivienne spend an extra night with Bayley. These two nights are the longest she's been away from home. 

"Yes, Daddy, even though she makes me eat carrots." Vivi says carrots as though she said a bad word. 

"They're good for your eyes, Precious Girl." Seth misses his girl more than he ever thought possible. 

"Fine! Is Papa around?" 

Seth's gaze falls to Dean's sleeping form. He's curled up in a ball, his arm still held close against his belly as though sheer willpower could keep their expected little one right where she needed to be. 

"No, Princess. He's asleep. I'll tell you said hi and I love you." 

"Thank you, Daddy!" 

"I love you, Baby Girl." Seth ignores the tears stinging hot behind his eyes. He can't let Vivi hear him cry. 

"I am giving Aunt Bayley the phone. Bye, Daddy!" 

Seth wipes his eyes with the back of his hand. This entire day has been emotional insanity. 

"How's Dean?" Bayley's back on the line, waiting for her update. 

"Sleeping. Thanks a lot, Bay. We didn't know how today would go. If it was bad, I didn't want Vivi here." 

"No explanation needed. Glad you're okay." 

They chat for a few minutes until Bayley needs to check on the kids. The entire time he's on the phone, Seth watches Dean sleep. 

With the call over, Seth sets the phone aside and turns to face Dean. He can't resist the urge to ruffle his husband's hair. 

"I know you'll find this hard to believe but I will do anything to protect you," Seth whispers. 

They're speeding toward their ninth wedding anniversary. It's been a crazy nine years but Seth's not sure how much-if anything- he'd want to change. 

Every tear, every heartache and every joy led them to where they were. 

Dean is Seth's source of strength. When he cannot do it anymore, Dean's right there, cheering him on. When everything went wrong, Dean could make it right with a single touch. 

When the grief of the world threatened to close in on Dean, Seth could take him in his arms and make it as close to right as he could manage. 

"I know you _probably_ wouldn't believe this if you were awake, but I am _thrilled_ at the prospect of a new baby. I just don't want to see you end up with another broken heart." Seth continues speaking. He's done this since their first date- talking to Dean when he's asleep. It's one of the only ways Seth knows he's truly listening. "Love you, Baby Boy." He turns his head. 

He never notices Dean looking right at him.


	3. Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean's pregnancy continues.

“You promise you’ll call me if _anything_ comes up?”

Dean nods before remembering it’s a phone call. He exhales slowly.

"I was fine before and I’ll be fine again.” He hopes he sounds more confident than he actually feels.

“Dean, I worry because of your history. _You almost died!_ ”

It had taken Dean almost two weeks to convince Seth they would be fine if he went back to work. Seth’s understandably afraid that something will happen when he’s on the road. Given Dean’s history, this a complexly valid fear.

“It takes more than a bad infection to take me out.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too. Call you at bedtime.”

Dean hangs up, gently massaging his lower back. He tries to will the dull ache to ease. Since he’s growing, _everything_ aches as it adjusts to the new tenant.

He’s still _not_ sure this will end well. The entire time he’s been pregnant, it’s mainly been about him trying not to get attached. He _wants_ this baby but also knows the odds aren’t in his favor.

“Daddy?” Vivian calls, running through the house. “Daddy?”

“Living room, Vivi!” Dean calls. He laughs as she runs into his arms. He kisses her cheek, laughing as she giggles. “What are you doing?”

“Nothing. Are you okay, Daddy?” Vivienne asks, her blue eyes suddenly full of worry.

“Why do you ask, Princess?” Dean asks, pulling Vivienne into a tighter hug.

“Papa told me to look out for you. Are you sick?” she asks, wrapping her legs around Dean’s waist and resting her head on his shoulder.

“No, Baby Girl. I’m not sick,” Dean says, untangling her from him. He lets out a sharp breath. He’s going to kill Seth. Vivienne’s only 5. She doesn’t need this kind of stress. “I promise you- I’m fine.”

“Okay, good!” she exclaims. “Can we go out for dinner tonight?” She pouts, sliding off Dean’s lap. “Please?”

“Okay.” Dean’s more tired than usual. He’s not sure if it’s because he’s pregnant or if it’s all in his mind. He reaches out, ruffling Vivienne’s frizzy hair. “Go get your brush and two hair ties and the detangler.”

He sits back further on the couch. As he waits for her, he can’t resist rubbing his hand around the curve of his belly.

“Are you going to say hello?” he asks, staring down. “Your first kick should be happening any day.” According to the doctor, he should be around 21 weeks along.

It’s such a strange thought to realize their family of three will hopefully end up being a family of 4. Vivienne loves babies. Will she be a good big sister?

Dean’s got so many questions and so few answers.

“Here, Daddy!” Vivienne exclaims, handing him the requested items.

Dean sprays Vivienne’s hair with detangler before he begins to brush her hair. She squirms a little but manages to let Dean brush and braid her hair.

Dean laughs, remembering how long it had taken for him to learn hair braiding. He’d practiced on Seth for months until he got it right.

“Thank you, Daddy!” Vivienne chirps happily. “Can I go play?”

“Yes, Vivi. We’ll go get dinner in a little bit.” Dean gives her a little shove toward the playroom. He leans back, beginning to rub his belly. “I don’t know _how_ we got so lucky but I’m glad we did.”

Then, he feels it- a tiny kick from deep within.

“Well, hello, Baby.”

\---

After dropping Vivienne off at school. Dean has a doctor’s appointment. He’s excited but also nervous.

Since that first kick, the baby’s _not_ stopped moving. Kicks, punches, rolling as she did somersaults. Dean embraces every motion because he knows there’s no promise of more. He can’t remember Vivienne or Stella being that active. He loves each and every move.

His phone rings, pulling him out of thought. A quick glance at the caller ID tells him it’s his husband.

“Yes?” Dean’s _still_ annoyed because Seth had asked Vivienne to look out for him.

“Why do you sound like you want to kill me?”

“You told our daughter to look out for me Seth. She’s five years old. You don’t put that kind of pressure on a five-year-old.”

"Okay, I’m sorry. Can you blame me for being worried?”

“No, Dear. I just want to make sure we let her be little for _as long as possible_.”

“Other than wanting to kill me, how are you feeling?”

“Well, our new daughter hasn’t stopped kicking since she started.”

“Kicking? You’re not joking?” None of Dean’s other pregnancies had lasted long enough to allow movement.

“Nope. I’m loving every second.”

“On your way to the doctor?”

“Yep. Morning appointment. You know I’ll call you when I’m done.”

“Love you, Baby Boy.”

“Love you too.” Dean disconnects the call. The baby gives him a stiff kick in the ribs. He _should_ find it painful but he’s too enamored with the glorious motions.

\---

Dean sits back on the exam table, trying to take everything in. There’s a lot going on and he doesn’t even know where to begin.

“Dean, I know it’s a lot to take in,” Dr. Smith says, squeezing Dean’s hand. “I’m suggesting we do this as a precautionary measure. I know it sounds terrible but we don’t know what’s caused your previous losses.”

Dean stares at his belly, feeling the baby kick. It’s a lot to take in. Dr. Smith had that part right.

At his appointment, Dr. Smith suggested it might be in his best interest to go on hospital bed rest. With his history, it made sense. If something went wrong, he’d be close to resources.

“I can’t- what about Vivi?” Dean asks. “Would she be allowed to visit? How does that even work?”

“As long as it’s not flu season, I don’t see why she wouldn’t be able to visit. You’re fine as of now, Dean. It’s a precaution.” Dr. Smith still holds Dean’s hand.

“Can I do it at home?” Dean _wants_ this baby but he can’t see spending _four and a half months_ in the hospital. “I feel fine.”

“Make a deal with you.” Dr. Smith stares at Dean. “I will let you stay on modified bed rest _for now._ The first sign of _anything,_ you will let me admit you.” She squeezes his hand.

“I can do that.” Dean returns the squeeze. “Hope you don’t think less of me.”  He doesn’t even know why he cares what the doctor thinks. “I mean- Seth travels so much and then, we have Vivi.”

“Dean, you’re okay.” Dr. Smith says. “You do what’s best for you.” She sighs. “If I thought you needed it, you’d be there already. Like I said, it would be ideal but as long as you take it easy, I’m willing to compromise.”

Dean nods. He can feel their little girl rolling around. He loves this and knows he would do anything to protect her.

Even if it means sitting with his legs crossed for the next four and a half months, he would do it.


	4. Seth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth shares the news of their impending arrival with their daughter.

Seth would be lying if he said he wasn't terrified about what the next 4 months would look like. 

Dean's stubborn and determined to bring their daughter to term. The further along he gets, the more attached he's getting. On one hand, Seth loves watching their bond. On the other hand, he can't bear the thought of Dean getting hurt again. 

It's a strange place to be. 

"Papa, is Daddy okay?" Vivienne asks, her blue eyes connecting with Seth's through the rear view mirror. 

"Why do you ask?" Seth asks, gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. They haven't told Vivienne about the pregnancy yet. If something went wrong, they didn't want to upset her too. 

Of course, Vivi would be smart enough to figure out something was up...

"He doesn't get out of bed a lot, and you keep asking if he's okay!" Vivienne explains. "Is he sick?" 

"Not exactly." Seth isn't sure how honest he should be. "Daddy's body is working _very_ hard. _If_ everything goes okay, we're going to have a new baby in about 4 months." 

"Really?" Vivienne squeals, her eyes lighting up. "You're not lying?" Her grin grows bigger and bigger. 

"No, I'm not lying," Seth replies. 

He just hopes he's made the right decision.  
\---  
"You did what?" Dean's voice grows _ice cold_. "I thought we agreed we wouldn't say anything until the baby was viable." His eyes grow wide and panicky. "Our lives have been wrapped up and nearly destroyed by our problems. I don't want the same thing to happen to Vivi." 

Seth squeezes his eyes shut as he sits on the edge of the bed. He knows Dean's right. Seth also knows _he's right_. 

"She asked if you were sick." Seth's voice grows softer and softer. "I didn't want her to think you're dying." He blinks back the tears now stinging his eyes. 

Dean pats the open space next to him. Seth shifts over until he's next to his husband. 

"I'm _not_ mad, Babe," Dean says, pulling the blanket down. "You're right. She needs to know. Whatever happens with _Lulu_..." 

_Lulu_? Seth double takes, unsure he's heard Dean correctly. 

"Our little one. Her name is Luna. I call her Lulu." Dean narrows his gaze, staring hard at Seth. "If I have to be in bed for four months, I get to name her. You get to pick the middle name." 

"Luna. Luna Hope?" Seth asks, trying out a middle name. "Why _Luna_?"

"We have the sun- Vivienne. We have the stars- Stella. Now, we'll have the moon- Luna," Dean's eyes grow misty as he speaks of their girls. 

_The Sun. The Moon. The Stars._

It sounds beautiful. 

"Well, I wished you had included me on the decision but I like it." Seth stares ahead, trying to quell the feeling of anxious dread.

Choosing a name doesn't mean they're cursing their daughter. He _couldn't_ think like that. 

If anything, choosing a name is an acknowledgement of life. By using her name, it's a call to the universe to allow Luna Hope a chance to live, if it be the way. 

_We're not afraid. I mean- we are but we're not going to be afraid of loving her._ Seth thinks, clutching Dean's hand. 

With a trembling hand, he pulls Dean's shirt up, exposing the swollen mound of his belly. 

He brings his lips close and speaks in a soft whisper. 

_Hello, Luna Hope. Our precious Lulu. We can't wait to meet you._   
\---  
"Careful, Vivi," Seth says, setting Vivienne on the bed. "Say hello to Daddy." Vivienne gazes up as if to say _are you sure I won't hurt him?_. "Go ahead. He has something to show you." 

"Come here, Little One. You won't hurt me." Dean grabs her hand, gently pulling her close. "Papa told you I was having a baby?" 

"Yep. He told me it would be four months if everything went okay." Vivienne furrows her brow. "I don't know what that means." 

Dean gives Seth the _iciest_ look imaginable. This makes Seth pull back. 

_Maybe_ he'd been too honest. 

It wasn't like Dr. Spock included a chapter on telling your oldest child she'd be a big sister but only if the baby was born healthy. There's no easy way to break news like this no matter what .

_Really thought I'd have this figured out by now._ he thinks, watching Dean interact with Vivienne. 

He meant well. Really- he did. Wasn't it better to be honest? 

For as much as he understood about being a dad, it was clear he still has _a lot_ to learn.


	5. Dean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, knowing you're not alone in your experiences is enough.

"We start another day together, Luna Love," Dean says, talking to his belly. "May we end the day together as beautiful as it began." 

Each morning, Dean starts the day by greeting their growing child. He's just over the 26 week mark and getting closer and closer to life with 2 kids. 

Bedrest proves to be a heinous _albeit_ thing. He's never been a fan of sitting still, but this time, there's something precious on the line. It's the sheer desire for a healthy baby that's keeping him sane. 

"Daddy!" Vivienne exclaims, running into the room. "Good morning!"

"Morning, Princess." Dean holds his arms open, leaning over the side of the bed. "Did you sleep well?" 

"I dreamed of unicorns and pumpkins." She leans into his hug. "Love you, Daddy." 

Dean stares at her outfit. It's a youth-sized _King Slayer_ shirt. gray tulle overskirt and white spotted green tights. He resists the urge to laugh, knowing just _why_ her outfit is so strange. 

"Did Uncle Sheamy let you pick your clothes?" 

Since Dean's been on bed rest, he's needed help with Vivienne. Sheamus and Cesaro agreed to move in to help out for as long as they were needed. 

"He did!" Vivienne grins. "I like my clothes!" She sighs. "How's my sister?" 

"Kicking. She's moving a lot." Dean reaches out, squeezing her hand. "You want to feel?" 

Vivienne nods, her grin growing wider and wider. 

Dean sets her hand in the middle of his belly. Just then, the baby jabs Vivienne's palm. "That's Luna." He _knows_ he should wait for Seth before telling Vivienne the baby's name. Yet doing this feels _right_.

"Who's Luna?" Vivienne asks, cocking her head. 

"Your sister. Her name is _Luna_."   
\---  
Dean wishes he understood what the universe wanted from him. The bed rest drives him crazy. He can't sit still on a good day, let alone when he's stuck on mandatory bed rest. 

A pair of knitting needles and a ball of soft pink wool sit next to him. He picks them up and knits a few clumsy stitches. 

It's a fruitless effort to pass the time. 

The baby nudges, almost as it to say _Daddy, don't forget why you're doing this._

That's a reminder he desperately needs. 

"You're worth _every_ boring second." He rubs a gentle circle, hoping the baby absorbs his energy. 

Seth hasn't been around much lately. He's getting ready for another European tour. That's not the only thing- he's avoiding home. 

Seth thinks Dean's unaware, but he's wrong. Dean sees far more than Seth gives him credit for. 

Seth _always_ runs when things get rough. 

He can't cope when it gets bad. 

"How are you feeling?" Cesaro asks, bringing in his lunch tray. 

"Fine." Dean crosses his arms over his chest. "All this rest is _precautionary_." 

There's nothing worse than being stuck in bed when one feels _fine_. 

"Well, I know it isn't the most helpful thing to hear but remember the end result is worth it." Cesaro looks thoughtful as he speaks. Setting the tray down, he stares up at the ceiling. " _No pain, no gain_." As he speaks, Dean swears he sees an almost- _haunted_ look. 

In all the years Dean's known them, it never once occurred to him that they were childless. 

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Dean can't resist. "You don't need to answer but..." His voice drifts off. 

"Go ahead." Cesaro settles on the edge of the bed. 

"Why don't you have children? I mean- I know it's presumptuous but you and Sheamy are so good with Vivi." 

"Wasn't meant to be." Cesaro sighs, staring off into the distance. "Undiagnosed infertility. Tried some treatments, got pregnant not once but twice." He closes his eyes. It's clear that it's taking _a lot_ for him to keep it together. "Couldn't go past 14 weeks." 

Suddenly, Dean recognizes the haunted look. 

It's the look of someone who's known great loss. 

Dean imagines it's the same look he carries.


	6. Seth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I'm fine," Dean hisses as Seth runs into the room. He lets a puff of annoyed air, as he drums his fingers against the food tray. "I swear to whatever higher power I believe in today that I am fine." 
> 
> "You're fine and yet, you're where?" Seth's startled by his husband's non-chalant nature. "What's going on?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with this fic. Yay for the sudden surge of inspiration! 
> 
> Enjoy!

"I'm fine," Dean hisses as Seth runs into the room. He lets a puff of annoyed air, as he drums his fingers against the food tray. "I swear to whatever higher power I believe in today that I am fine." 

"You're fine and yet, you're where?" Seth's startled by his husband's non-chalant nature. "What's going on?" 

"Some weird back pain and Braxton Hicks' contractions. We know your best friend's overprotective on a good day." Dean shrugs, adjusting the bed's position. "He called the doctor and here we are." He gestures to the room around them. 

He's just over 33 weeks along. If the baby came today, she would have a 90 percent chance of survival. Babies born at that age are premature but almost _never_ have severe health complications. 

Seth takes some comfort in this knowledge. 

Seth wants to say so much but he can't find the words. Thanks to Dean's extensive history, _every_ twinge he has sends Seth into a blind panic. He can't be around him, watching and worrying the entire time. It's a painful truth to admit- _Seth's been avoiding home_. 

Then, he gets a call that something's wrong and he's rushing across the country. 

It's such an odd way of life. 

"So, she _didn't_ try to come early?" Seth narrows his gaze as he tries to understand the full scope of the situation. 

"Dr. Smith doesn't seem to think so but we had an agreement." Dean gestures around the room a second time. "Welcome to my home for the next 6 to 8 weeks." 

Seth exhales, taking in Dean's words. _His home?_ Were things so bad that he actually _needed_ hospital bedrest? 

"No, it's not _that_ bad." Dean pauses, seeming to read Seth's mind. "I know you stopped listening the second I opted _against_ terminating but..." He launches into a full explanation of things but Seth doesn't hear anything past _but_. 

Could he really believe Seth didn't want their daughter? 

"And there you go," Dean mumbles, his voice taking on that icy annoyance Seth always dreaded. " _Not_ listening as usual." 

"You know I _want_ Luna, right?" Seth holds his breath, as he contemplates his choice of words. "She's _our_ kid and I don't want you thinking I wish you would have terminated." 

That was so far from the truth. From the first moment he realized they were expecting again, he'd resolved him to the fact they would have _two_ beautiful daughters. 

"You have a funny way of showing it." Seth opts to ignore the bitter edge to Dean's voice. "Would you believe I've seen your best friend more than I've seen you?" 

Seth flinches at the bite of Dean's words. He knows he's been distant but he _swears_ he's had good intentions. He's also _terrified_. As ridiculous as it sounds, he fears getting too close. 

There's not only that but God Forbid something happens, he doesn't want a front row seat to his husband's self destruction. 

"We _need_ to talk," Seth mutters, gesturing for Dean to scoot over. As he moves, Seth wedges himself in next to him. He winces, feeling Dean tremble beside him. 

"You're leaving, aren't you?" Dean asks, his voice stable but his body shaking. He hiccups as Seth feels the panic surge through him. 

"NO!" Seth shouts, his voice rising. "I would _never_ leave you. On our wedding day, I vowed to love you _for better, for worse_." 

"Then, what's going on?" Dean reaches over, squeezing Seth's fingers for a beat. "We _can't_ do this if you won't talk to me." 

Seth inhales, his body heaving with the effort. He _needs_ to let this out, regardless of what door this may open. "I'm fucking terrified. We have Vivi- our sweet beautiful Vivi. What if something happens to Luna or worse, you? It would destroy us." He blinks back the tears threatening to spill from his eyes. 

"Luna's a tough one. She better be- look who her dads are!" Dean says matter of fact. He closes his eyes, bringing one trembling hand to massage his temple. "Seth, I told you _months_ ago..." He purses his lips. "Wait, no, I didn't- maybe I implied it? Any way, Babe, I made it clear when I named her behind your back- sorry again by the way- I'm not afraid to love her. Regardless if she's here 90 minutes or 90 years, Luna Hope will know she's loved." 

He exhales, grabbing Seth atround the wrist. He presses Seth's hand into his belly. Seth feels the hot tears slip down his cheeks as he feels the baby begin to kick and wriggle, clearly not amused by the invasion. 

Luna's _pissed_ that they're poking at her. 

"This girl will be born _happy and healthy_. She will have a kickass life." 

Seth nods. 

He needs to remind himself that she is not Stella.   
\---  
Seth stares into the dark bedroom, watching Vivienne curled against her teddy bear. She's doing better than he thought with Dean gone. Then again, Vivi's always been easygoing. 

"It's going to be _fine_ ," Cesaro says, sneaking up behind Seth. "I have a good feeling." 

Seth turns, holding one finger to his lips. He closes the door to Vivienne's room, leaving it just open enough to allow a single beam of light in. 

"I don't think I can ever repay you two for the way you both just gave up your lives to help my family." He gives Cesaro a tight hug. 

"You're my best friend- my brother," Cesaro replies. "It's what you do for family." 

Seth nods, suddenly looking solemn. "You've given us a gift that we can't easily repay." 

"No payment necessary," Cesaro murmurs. "Never thought this would be my life." 

"Same." 

Seth knows _exactly_ where his best friend comes from. He always imagined they would have the _perfect_ life. 2.5 kids, a picket fence and a dog- that's what he always wanted for them. 

They have one beautiful daughter, one more on the way and a picket fence. 

Vivienne's getting a poodle on her next birthday. 

Yet, that doesn't mean their lives are perfect. Dean's had three miscarriages in four years. The last one nearly killed him. That doesn't even begin to take into account the way they lost Stella. 

It's a lot for a couple to handle. 

His cellphone rings, pulling him from his thoughts. He's sure it's just Dean, calling to find oiut where he is. Seth's promised he'd return as soon as Vivienne settled down for the night. 

His brow furrows in confusion as he realizes he doesn't recognize the phone number. Seeing as it's almost 10:30 at night, this cannot be good. 

"Hello?" His voice trembles ever so slightly. 

"Hello, this is Hannah, your husband's night nurse He didn't want you to panic if you get here and he's not there." 

"What's wrong?" Seth feels the color draining from his face. His knees threaten to buckle but he stabilizes himself on the wall. He doesn't realize how bad he looks until he notices the weird look Cesaro gives him. 

"I am unable to give you that information over the phone but you will need to get here." 

Without a second thought, Seth bolts for the door. He doesn't even take the time to tell Sheamus and Cesaro what's going on. 

He needs to get to Dean.


End file.
